So many of us believe that being popular and likable is due to unteachable traits – being really social or simply being outgoing and charismatic, but that’s not true. Being likable is more in your hands than you think, and it all comes down to your emotional intelligence.
Travis Bradberry of Forbes did some research on the top traits of popular and likable people, and here are our top picks:
They put away their phones
Nothing is more off-putting than someone else continuously glancing at their phone during dinner, or being interrupted mid-conversation by a phone call. People that are likable know that times have their time and place, and in social situations is not that time.
Next time you’re at a meeting or at a party, put your phone away – for the night.
They ask questions
People that are well-liked actively listen to whomever they’re engaged in conversation with – they actively listen and ask questions, instead of simply offering their opinions and waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can talk.
You’ll be surprised by how much people will respond to being heard and being asked questions – try it next time you have a conversation.
They are genuine
If you want to be liked, you have to be genuine. Transparency is the key to developing trust, and to showing off your good intentions. If people know they can trust you, they will gravitate towards you. Likable people know who they are and don’t pretend to be anyone else, they are comfortable in their own skin, and focus on their own lives.
They’re not judgmental
Being open-minded and looking at those around you with a kind and open heart will make you a much more likable person. The more open-minded you are, the more approachable you will become, particularly in the workplace. Likable people understand that there’s always more to the story, and don’t waste their time and energy judging others.
They are consistent
Erratic behaviour can really throw people off, so it’s important that you maintain consistency – in terms of the type of response someone might receive when you’re approached. Ensure that your behaviour towards others doesn’t fluctuate as soon as your mood does.
They don’t seek attention
If you’re scrambling for attention, those around you can pick up on it. You can garner enough attention just by being yourself, being friendly, and being confident. Know that your worth is not determined by the amount of attention you receive, and if you do happen to receive attention for an accomplishment of other feat – be humble. People will gravitate towards this kind of behaviour.
They use positive body language
Your tone of voice, the way you stand, and your gestures are all telling a story – make sure it’s a positive one. By uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and speaking with an enthusiastic tone can make all the difference to a conversation. People will remember how you made them feel during a conversation, and will be drawn back to you.
They leave a strong first impression
As above, what your body language is conveying to another person during a first meeting, will give an instant, lasting impression. People apparently form an opinion about you within the first seven seconds – make those seven seconds count. Stand tall with your shoulders back, have a firm handshake, and be sure to smile with your eyes. The first impression is sure to stick, so make it a good one.
They greet people by name
People love to hear their own name – your name is a big part of your identity, and it feels great for people to say it. Likable people use the other person’s name during conversation, and it make a point to use it in the future as well.
So being likable isn’t that hard after all – by being genuine, confident, and interested in those around you, people will warm to you, and will want to spend time with you. So, what are you waiting for?